Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Business Writing

The business writing I found online is a letter of termination.  As I read the letter, I noticed how the first paragraph is not sincere.  The writer, who is the manager, used words such as regret, and terminated.  However the rest of the letter is very sincere because this company is firing this man for economic reasons, not because he is a bad worker.  The manager follows the letter with six more weekly pays after he gets fired and he is able to keep his dental and medical insurance until the end of the period.  The manager also offers the worker a recommendation letter if he ever wants one.
Over all, I think this is an effective way of writing.  The manager apologizes for firing this worker, and he then offers temporary benefits after his termination.  The manager makes this letter all about the receiver which is very effective.


Thursday, September 15, 2011

corporate speak.

If I am on a business web site that is overly formal and uses too much of their business talk, I won't even both being on the website and I probably wont go back to it.  I would rather visit a website that speaks to me more on my level of communication. There is enough business talk everyday and when I am trying to be a customer for a certain company I do not want them too be overly proper and formal with me.  I don't think this is an effective way for businesses to communicate because not everyone will be interested.  They should speak in a way so the majority of their viewers will enjoy their way of communication so they wont lose customers.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Insurance e-mail

Overall the insurance e-mail is very confusing and unclear.  The writer tried explaining the new way they will use e-mails, but does it in a terrible way that I found myself lost many times through out the e-mail.  They used long words, technical words and initials which threw me off.  The writer of this e-mail should have used short words, and familiar words so multiple readers could understand it more.  They should have also explained the new system for e-mail in a short and quick way instead of dragging the process out.